Twined
by Almandine-Azaleea
Summary: The pain is strong...so strong. She fears for him. A moment of vulnerability in the life of Sesshomaru and its ramifications. AU Rated for later chapters. SesshRin Chapter 2: Sesshomaru tries to come to terms with the events of the previous night.
1. Overcome

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I make any profits from the publication of this story.

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**Overcome**

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She hears the laboured breathing and his attempts to hide it. In her mind she can almost see him through the heavy wooden door, lying on his back, his form outlined by the richly woven sheets and quilts on his bed. She is afraid for him. He never seems to feel pain, so to hear him so exhausted makes her heart clench with anxiety. She remembers their first meeting (over a decade and a half past); then, when his body had been completely broken, he hadn't made a sound.

She knows not what to do, but decides that indecision is the worst choice, so she braves her fear and opens the door.

He doesn't stir; doesn't acknowledge her in the least. The raspy breathing is even more pronounced now that she is near him and her heart clenches painfully.

"Sesshomaru-sama...?"

He doesn't answer, instead long-drawn uneven breaths fill the room with sound. Another step in his direction, then another.

From this angle she can clearly see the sheen of sweat covering his brow.

She finds it odd that he would be feverish – he hadn't had one when she'd first encountered him, those many years past, and he'd looked considerably worse then.

"Sesshomaru-sama...What happened?"

The words tremble on his lips but he doesn't know how to say them.

He has never learned how to be vulnerable – even at the very moment he wishes she would go away and leave him to his misery.

He knows not how to say he hurts and even less how to ask for comfort, and the pain is strong, so strong.

She has never been one to be reserved and her lord's obvious affliction only spurs her heart – in an instant she is there with him, on his bed.

His eyes widen in surprise but she cannot see them; cautiously and ever so softly she touches the smooth fabric of his night gown. He does not react. The scent of fear hits him, and to his surprise he feels touched that she would worry for him so.

With careful movements she brings out a handkerchief and wipes his brow. The gentle breeze caused by her movements dulls the pain a little bit.

He turns eyes on her and she doesn't shirk from his gaze. He chuckles inwardly. His Rin has spunk – she always has had.

By now it feels every particle of his body is on fire and trying to separate from the rest of him. He cringes cursing his 'healing' abilities.

He doesn't remember ever feeling so weak, and part of him resents the fact that there is a witness to his pitiful state.

Rin continues to wipe his brow, then stands up and brings him the cup of water placed on his table. He doesn't know how she understood he was thirsty, but he is glad of it. Further pondering allows him to realise he is too weak to even stand up.

Thirst claws at his throat.

Without hesitation Rin dips her fingers in the water and brushes them gently across his lips.

He cannot believe how grateful he is – the other side of him is screaming at the indignity of it all. She repeats the actions a few more times until he turns his head slightly – she understands his thirst is sated. Her eyes do not leave his face, and if it wasn't for the fever he thinks he would be blushing – again a side of him strongly argues this but he knows it to be so.

"Sesshomaru-sama will be alright..."

He supposes it's meant to be a statement but it comes out more as a question. Gathering up strength he nods painfully. He doesn't like the tears he sees in her eyes. It is unusual, uncommon, _unnatural_ even for someone to be crying for him. His frayed emotions make him even more irritable.

Rin resumes the wiping of his brow, but to his great shame he finds the pain affects him in other, unfortunate, ways also. He has the inane need to not feel alone – which to him is utterly ridiculous because great demons do not ever feel alone – yet he cannot help it.

Again she seems to read his mind and her actions cease, her arm coming instead to drape across him comfortably.

She raises herself up and places his head on her lap. He can see her blush – he is not sure if it's their proximity or another reason, but he feels something akin to gladness.

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He stares unseeingly, too stubborn to admit that he has the perfect opportunity to focus on Rin's face. Her small hands tangle slightly in his hair and begin combing through it. The sense of peace and warmth threatens to swallow even the waves of pain and he comes to the conclusion that he is afraid to let them. Pain he understands, he can deal with; peace and warmth and that 'something else', which has been present in Rin's eyes as of late, are still mysteries to him and Sesshomaru does not like that which he does not know.

She sees his features twist in pain again and it pulls at her heart. Her hand caresses the side of his face then moves down to find his hand. He needs to know he is not alone.

Something pokes at her stomach...something which shouldn't be there, and on closer analysis she can see that under the thin silk of his night gown sleeve the lump she is accustomed with is bigger, much bigger. She cannot stop her curiosity and she prods it gently. It is nearly wrist length. She gapes, understanding finally the cause of her lord's ailment.

With utmost care she lifts the sleeve and, indeed, she can see the bone poking through the skin – his arm is growing back, bone first. She shudders trying to imagine the amount of pain he must be withstanding.

His chest rises and falls faster with each breath, his breathing becomes shallower and she can see he is having problems staying conscious. The pain is about to overcome him when the feel of a small hand links him back with reality. The intensity is reduced. He opens his eyes: Rin's hand is on his wrist and she is crying.

He wonders as to the reason, but finds himself to be too tired to ponder. Her tears bathe his cheek, his hair, his lips. She is in every sense a rejuvenating rain to him, but something is not right. Her tears fall faster and her body starts shaking with sobs.

A part of him screams that it is not normal – after all Rin has never cried in all their time together. It is eery. With the pain subsiding his eyes focus on something he had not noticed before – a glowing thread is between Rin and himself. He begins following it with his eyes; it does not come from outside; it seems to have no source. The glow must be stronger at the origin, he reasons with himself, and tries to find it. It is closer than he expects: Rin's hand and his wrist are intricately connected by this thread.

He looks up at Rin. She smiles – her face is unnaturally pallid, almost the same shade as his own face, and her body is wracked by sobs but she smiles. All he can see is that smile even as she faints on the pillows. The pain is almost gone and he curses suddenly understanding why this is. In a swift move he pulls his arm brusquely and sees the thread loosen. He does not want to leave Rin, but her breathing, though still slightly laboured, tells him she will be alright. He moves away from her not wanting to cause her any more pain. He is still dazed by the revelation that she would bind her soul to him. He has heard that in certain cases mated demons could share the pain so as to protect the other but never paid it heed, and Rin was neither a demoness nor his mate.

In that moment he understands why his brother chose to be sealed rather than kill, and his awkward glances towards the strangely-dressed priestess shine with the same pure emotion he has just seen demonstrated.

His mouth dries and his heart pounds erratically: Rin is in love with him.

With a chaste kiss to her hair he disappears in the dark night. The pain returns but not to the same extent and with only two fingers left to be regenerated he feels somewhat relieved. Rin's actions befuddle him still. Her attempt to protect him, to take care of him, stirs frozen emotion in recesses of the heart he had thought long gone.

He knows of his own affections for Rin, but still reels at the extent of her love for him. There are many conflicting voices in his mind, but one speaks clearer than the rest:

_She alone is worthy of being our partner in life._

He tries to argue but comes to the conclusion he cannot perceive the concept of a Rin-less life anyway. He sighs. The Great Lord of the West is enamoured with a mortal. He is sure his father must be laughing somewhere above the clouds, but he finds he does not care.

The soil below him is wet and cold, and he finds himself yearning for Rin and her warmth but he cannot hurt her. He chuckles thinking how she laid claim to him first. The pain is a dull roar in the back of his head, and as he drifts to sleeps his dreams are with his puzzling ward.

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**A/N: This is AU, but hopefully not too bad. I would love to hear your opinions on the matter. :) **


	2. Reflections

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. **

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**Reflections **

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He wakes at the sun's beckoning; to his relief he finds the pain has completely subsided. He stares disdainfully at the source; he knows he will not gain full use of his hand for a few good days, but is resigned to the fact. Indeed, he has other subjects to concentrate on – one in particular. He is certain Rin is not aware of the extent of her actions, and he is almost _as_ certain that they were not intended. Rin would not see her own killers suffer, he knows it well, how much less could she stand seeing her protector in such a state? 

A sneer. He remembers his state of powerlessness the previous night. Had the witness been any one other than Rin they would not have lived. His heart lurches.  
When had his father learned of his son's fate? Had he actually known his son would follow in his footsteps in more ways than one?  
The irony of falling in love with someone from the very group he had refused from the beginning to have anything to do with is not lost on him. A dry chuckle escapes his lips.

He takes to walking in the gardens. The recent good weather has done wonders in sprucing the place up – he can hear the plum and cherry blossoms popping into existence, the delicate swish of petals opening, the almost tangible pressure of the wind one the leaves and the flowers.  
He cannot remember how long it has been since he has last done this – he is not sure if he ever has.

Thoughts tangle teasing him with poisonous jabs and for once he lets them run their full course. Concentrating on the sounds of life alone, he lets them guide him to the pond. He has not seen this pond since he was a mere pup – even then in a desperate search for his father. Seeing it again he remembers the reasons for wanting the world, for wanting power. His reflection does not lie: he is still a mere pup searching, hoping, wishing to make his father proud at any cost. He wants to look away but is transfixed by the truth. He has known it all along, yet it has taken him the better part of five centuries to acknowledge it. He wants what he has always wanted – someone. Now he finally understands his father's sorrow at his thoughtless words, the worry that had changed his scent upon hearing his eldest desired power alone, that he would do most anything to get it, and he is ashamed, so ashamed.

His eyes search the water desperately wanting to find a piece of him that is not usurped by his greed, a shard of him that would make his father proud. He cannot find any.

In his desperation he slides to his knees before the floating apparition . He does not want to be – does not want to believe he _is_ – this empty shell devoid of any redeeming features, this child unworthy of his father's love.

"Sesshomaru-sama!"

He cannot bear to disappoint another, and especially not Rin, so his mind tells him to do something so cowardly he wants to blush in indignation at the mere thought of it.

"Sesshomaru-sama!"

He must flee _now_! His feet are not responding.

"Sesshomaru-sama!!!" The squeal of delight that follows almost makes him smile. Resigned to his fate he awaits for Rin to confirm that which his reflection showed him. He bows his head, in preparation for the cold sword of truth that will cut him.

"I was so worried! Are you alright, Sesshomaru-sama?! Sesshomaru-sama?!!!"

He wants to smile at the delightful way she worries about him. He cannot. In her flurry of temor, worry and gladness she grasps the hand he has regained running her thumb over to ensure it is, indeed, alright; then, with a content sigh, she jumps into his arms.

"Sesshomaru-sama!!!!" Her voice is muffled by his kimono but the sentiment is conveyed clearly. Her relief washes over him.

"Oh...Sesshomaru-sama! You're alright! I'm so glad you're...you're okay." Her arms tighten around him once more before a sharp intake of breath brings her back to reality.

With a squeak she is at an arm's length, kneeling properly and bowing her head.

"I'm er...sorry...Sesshomaru-sama."

He finds he rather likes the soft blush that stains her face. He continues to ponder her image, trying to encase it in his memory for all time. She is fleeting, like the flowers she so loves, and he knows he will lose her; whether of his doing, her doing, or life, he knows she will leave him.  
The repressed emotion of abandonment wreaks havoc on his already weakened body and he finds himself trembling. His name breaks on her lips even as her arms come to steady him again. She asks no questions, only helps him up, trying to make sure he is alright. He wonders if she sees the failure he is, if she is disgusted beneath that porcelain mien, if she loathes him as he had loathed humans before meeting her, and whether sometime in the past decade and a half her admiration for him has been voided by the empty whole that is his barren heart.  
He finds he does not have the strength to ask.

Events from the past night flit around his foggy mind like moths; he remembers kind eyes, warm hands comforting him, delicate fingers helping sate his thirst and warmth...a warmth he is not sure he has ever experienced until the previous night – a warmth that had spread deliciously through his body making him feel safe, reaching into every crevice of his rotting heart and turning it into something living. A warmth that made him feel _safe_.

Suddenly he knows what he is meant to say:

"Thank you." His voice is weak but he finds the words are not as hard as he had thought them to be.

She turns shining eyes on him.

"Of course, Sesshomaru-sama! I haven't done much, though." She lowers her head in a gesture of apology. "I apologise for invading Sesshomaru-sama's room and private space!" She murmurs.

He shakes his head, then raises her face gently.

"_Thank you_!" He states clearly, almost regally, as is his natural manner of talking.

Her smile is incredible; it fills him with sensations altogether so foreign to him, all the while making him content.

"I'm very happy Sesshomaru-sama is alright!" Her face falls instantly though. "Sesshomaru-sama is still hurting..." It is a statement, perhaps a question, he is not sure.

He shakes his head.

"This Sesshomaru is perfectly healthy." He does not know why, but he feels the need to convince her. "Look!" He stretches out the new arm. Rin looks but continues to worry her lip between her teeth, then lowering her voice:

"Sesshomaru-sama hurts...here..." She presses her hand on her own heart so child-like in gesture, yet the accuracy of it stuns him. "Rin doesn't want Sesshomaru-sama to hurt. If it is Rin's fault, she apologises and wishes to make amends."

He stares in undisguised amazement and the heavy load he has been burdened with comes crashing down on him. With raw need he sweeps her into his arms. She is the comfort, the beacon, the thread that ties the tapestry of his life into one full picture. She is that which he has craved and never allowed himself to touch. She is what he has always needed, even when he hadn't known it. It was her, _had been_ her, all along.

"Rin..." Reality washing over him puts strain in his voice.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama."

"Forgive this Sesshomaru..."

Her eyes widen.

"What for?! Sesshomaru-sama has not done anything...wrong...and...this Rin does not understand..."

He smiles bitterly.

"This Sesshomaru took unfair advantage of your kindness last night and now, acts for which I apologise."

"Why? How?! Sesshomaru-sama didn't do anything wrong. He just hurt! Rin wanted to make it go away...and she couldn't...and Sesshomaru-sama did what he always does and left in order to deal with things on his own, and Rin should be the one apologising, she should! She should!"

"Rin, are you aware of what you did last night?" He asks with genuine curiosity.

"I...interfered..." That she would sound so ashamed of her own kindness reflects on his past attitude to it and he feels even less adequate. He must clarify.

"You took my pain."

"What?"

"You...took my pain, shared it, protected me from it...you claimed me as your partner in spirit."

Panic etches onto her features.

"Rin is sorry...she didn't know..."

"You do not know how you did it?"

She shakes her head miserably.

"I just...wanted Sesshomaru-sama to stop hurting."

"Your wish was granted. You do not realize what you have done..."

"Rin is sorry."

"Let me finish." Though strained his voice is not unkind. "You do not realize you risked your life to save this Sesshomaru. The amount of pain a demon can withstand is many, many a-time more than that of a mere human...yet even so..."

She continues to stare at him, afraid in her belief she has wronged him.

"I was past my limit Rin, you saved my life. For that, this Sesshomaru is thankful."

"B-but...I...I bound Sesshomaru-sama...to...to myself...a mere human...it's not right..."

"You still do not understand, Rin...Last night...I could have lost you..."

The barrage of emotions he has kept in check so tightly crumbles.

"I could have _lost_ you."

His head is hung, in a most un-Sesshomaru-esque gesture.

"Rin is...grateful...so grateful for Sesshomaru-sama's kind words...but a great demon should never be tied to a weak human..."

He raises impossibly sad eyes to her.

"And what if it is the demon's desire?"

Rin smiles sweetly in reply.

"The demon is free to do as he chooses, but a mere mortal's no matter what her reasons, no matter what..." She stops abruptly and it makes his heart almost stop.

"No matter...?"

She colours prettily and hides behind her long hair.

"Rin...? Was there an ulterior reason to your actions?"

He needs to know! _Needs_ to know! His heart burns painfully in his chest. He needs...

"Yes."

His eyes beckon her to continue.

"Yes, there was, and it is most unfair to Sesshomaru-sama. Such a pleb should not restrain him...never... no matter what her feelings on the matter."

"Feelings...?"

He cannot believe it just yet. Her scent exudes so much candour, so much emotion, it is impossible for him to not know what she is feeling, but he wants to be sure – wants to hear...

"Rin is sorry."

His hand reaches out to caress the side of her face ever so gently.

"Will you speak of those feelings...Rin?"

She colours again and he thinks he will never tire of her innocent reactions.

"If Sesshomaru-sama wills it..."

"I do."

The blush spreads its petals further across her face.

"Rin...Rin...wants to always be with Sesshomaru-sama...and...and she always wants Sesshomaru-sama to be content and happy and blessed."

"It is an honourable sentiment."

She shakes her head.

"It makes Rin horrible; sick with jealousy, or greed, I cannot discern which. All I know I...want Sesshomaru-sama...exclusively. Never to look at another." She raises her eyes to him again. "Sesshomaru-sama has Rin's life, because he saved it...but...he has always had Rin's heart." Her eyes glistened sadly. "It is not fair for someone like Sesshomaru-sama to be tied to...to...someone controlled by such...base feelings...so low-ranked..."

The angry burn in his heart melts into warmth; his arms draw Rin to him of their own volition.

"Rin...is more of a queen as she is than any human or demoness of noble blood this Sesshomaru has ever encountered."

In his own mind he marvels at how much his silence has affected her. In his own turmoil he had forgotten humans need words, gestures, contact – much more so than demons.

"Rin need not worry. This Sesshomaru is content...very much so." His hand lowers to play with hers. "The thread that ties us will not be broken."

He can hear her panic.

"It is too strong, forged of deep, honest emotion. The love of a human is truly a miraculous thing."

The changes in her pulse tell him of her confusion.

"The reason why I did not reject your claim on me was not due to the pain...this Sesshomaru...he wanted...wanted Rin...to choose him."

He has never been so vulnerable before a female – somehow he feels bare despite the kimono.

Tears spill over the brim of Rin's eyes.

"She has...she has..."

He is utterly amazed at the relief those words entail and has to admit part of him continued to be fearful or Rin's potential rejection.

His heart flutters – it actually flutters. Slowly, carefully his lips search out Rin's.

She is more than that impossibly wonderful warmth, she is nurturing rain, she is mother and lover, she is soul mate, she is his heart.

When at last they part, his arms yearn to hold her closer still, but it is not the time. Embracing her even more tightly he gazes over her shoulder at the water. His father smiles back.

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**Author's Notes: Thank you ever so much to all those of you who have so kindly taken time to review! I love feedback! Many many thanks to: wildmage89, Spirit's Whisper, LitoxShorty, AnimesFireBaby, tankbbg, Alexandra, Meiun Tenshi, hushedthoughts, InuyashasEmoCupcakeToTheMax, and ArizonaBay**


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